Question: There is a student in my son's second-grade class who seems very behind socially, behaviorally and academically from the rest of the students. The teacher skips over him during group exercises because he just can't participate. He's disruptive throughout the day. The teacher has isolated his

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desk next to hers and I've heard her discipline him several times with the "three strikes and I call your mom" method. This same child was in my son's first-grade class and experienced the same problems that entire year. I don't see any improvements and I'm concerned his behavior will disrupt the others' learning, although they seem to just block him out. I feel just awful for this student because he's isolated and left out all the time. Should I mention my concerns to the teacher or is this just something that happens in every class every year?

Answer: It seems like the teacher knows that the child you describe has special concerns and is dealing with them. She is not allowed to discuss other children with you, just like you wouldn't want her discussing your child with other parents. I would only bring up your concerns if your own child has experienced problems with the other student. At that time, be specific so the teacher knows how to address the situation.

Dr. Ruth Jacoby has been involved in education for more than 30 years as an educator, principal and currently as an educational consultant in Florida. She is the co-author of the School Talk! Success Series including the recently published Parent Talk!: The Art of Effective Communication With the School and Your Child and the soon-to-be-published Homework Talk! and Test Talk!

Advice from our experts is not a substitute for medical or other professional advice and services from a qualified health-care provider familiar with your unique situation. We recommend consulting a qualified professional if you have concerns about your child's medical or emotional condition.

December 2005